A fear of Walking

Sounds odd, doesn't it?

Someone would actually have a fear of walking? I thought so. But it's possible. And the fear came be debilitating.

The technical term is Ambulophobia. Ambul- is Latin for walk and and -phobia is Greek for fear.

I happen to know this term because I have a fear of walking. And, I'm also a very curious person and like to know knowledge for the hell of it.

I didn't develop this fear until after an incident at work. Like with most phobias, it's definitely brought on by a traumatic event in the person's life.

I was stocking drinks one early morning. I was carrying a case of drinks to the front of my workplace when I turned a corner and stepped wrong. That's all it took for me to roll my left ankle. Mind you, I do have weak ankles and knees that I have strained and sprained on several occasions. But it was nothing like that. I felt the snap and felt the surge of stinging pain shoot up my leg and down my foot. I was working by myself (as always) and did not have a phone on me. I had two customers there in the parking lot, but they didn't either. I ended up having to give my door key to an older lady there just so she could get me a phone to call for help.

Let me just say, I can take control of a situation like no one's business while crying my eyes out. I did exactly that. But inside my head, I was freaking out.

I had a fear that I would not be able to get the help I needed when I needed it. And I had the right to think that. I didn't have another cashier coming in for another 30 minutes, she didn't have a phone, my manager was on vacation and the closest store was 15 minutes away. It took 25 minutes for the manager from the other store to arrive to take over the store operations. I sat on the ground where I fell for an hour before I was moved to a seat in a vehicle right beside where I fell. Every time I touched, moved, or did anything to my ankle or the area around it, it became excruciating pain. I thought I had broke it, popped it out of place, something.

By the time I got to a doctor, it had been two and half hours since it happened. The doctor was, let's just say, more in it for the company and not the patient. He said it was sprained, gave me an air cast that was too small, gave me pain meds that were more for a small child's pain, and put me on light duty for a week.

It's been a little over a month since this happened. The swelling still has not went down. I still feel pain. I don't have feeling in certain parts of my foot.

And every time I start to walk, I develop a what if fear that almost debilitates me. I always think that if I don't step right, I'm going to re-injure it. I have to look down everywhere I walk to make sure I don't step on anything to twist it. Every time I don't, I actually do end up twisting it. I've twisted it three times since the work incident. I fear stairs now. I fear grassy areas. I fear all areas that bring more potential of causing another re-injuring of it.

When I first told my husband, he told me I needed to seek help. That it was obvious that this has become a problem. I agree. I don't know where to go though. Hence, me telling my story to you. I felt the need to get it out. I hope this somewhat helps, if not me, then you. Who knows who might read this.

Maybe it'll help you realize a fear you may have and to try to get help.

Thanks.