My Customer Pet Peeves

I've decided to do a post that was comical but true to me and every other convenience store cashier out there. And possibly other customer service jobs/careers. This post is about my pet peeves. I have worked at my current job for 4 years this month. I have worked as a child day care teacher, fast food cashier, Wal-Mart associate and a movie theater worker. I have had my fair share of working with the public. Most people have by the age of 25 due to part time jobs in HS and college just so you can see your next meal (of mac 'n' cheese or ramen noodles). Here is my (abbreviated) list of pet peeves. Enjoy!

1. First, when you come to my window, please, please, PLEASE wait for me to greet you in some way. As in, "Hi, what can I do for you!" It helps both you and me when it comes to me giving you my upmost attention.
2. It helps to know what you want when you come to my counter. Please know what cigarette, pump number, amount of fuel, etc that you want/need. I don't like indecisive or lost people at my window taking up time (both mine, yours and the customers behind you in line) that you could've spent at your vehicle trying to figure out.
3. Please don't try to tell me what car you're in. I need pump numbers. I'm not that high school guy who thinks he knows every car make, model, etc because he watched The Fast and the Furious a thousand times. I have better things to do with my time than to learn the "carverse".
4. If you're getting cigarettes, cigars, dip, etc., and you think you might get IDed, PLEASE BRING IT. I go by the law. I go by my company's policy. I wish not to get fired because your sorry lazy ass does not want to show it. You might as well get it out of your car before you come to my counter. Also, if it is expired, don't even try to pull a fast one on me. I'll ask to see it again until I get all the info on it that I need.
5. If you see me outside (cleaning, sweeping, stocking, etc), please don't try to run me over. If I'm at a pump cleaning it, please be nice and go to another pump. There are others, and I know that your name is not written all over that pump I'm cleaning. Be nice, don't get near me to possibly run me over.
6. Please do not try to put your week's worth of garbage from home into a trash can. There's a dumpster bin in that same parking lot you can most graciously use.
7. If I say "Hi!" to you, please don't stand there like a baboon. It would be nice for you to speak.
8. On that note, don't expect me to be like a psychic, and read your mind. I can't. You have to tell me what you want. It works out better.
9. As well, this also means for you not to just hand me money and to know exactly what it's for. Gas? Cigarettes? A drink? Candy? You gotta tell me something.
10. Make sure to look at that pump number and remember it when you get to my counter. If you say the wrong number, and I repeat it back to you (because I ALWAYS do) and you agree that that's your pump, then I'm actually not liable for your mistake. Plain and simple. You're the one that need to figure it out. And you can't say that you didn't see the number. It's posted one the pump in 4 different spots with BIG decals to make sure it's visible. Even from where I stand at the counter.
11. To those who think it's cool to make a jackass of yourself by getting mad at me for you not having your ID, don't think I'll cave under pressure. The more you cuss and yell at me, the more I'm never going to let you have those cigarettes. I've called the police on an unruly customer before and I'm not afraid to do it again. Just politely leave and come back with your ID. That's all I want.
12. I can understand if you're having a bad day, I have them too. But please don't take it out on me (whether it's yelling at me over something stupid, or giving me the rundown of your whole life). I don't tell you mine. You would care less if I told you. Same here for me.
13. Please do NOT talk on your phone while at my counter. It's SO much better to ask the person to hold on while you're at the counter. I have a few reasons why: 1) It makes you do stupid things, 2) You forget everything you need to say (like pump number, cigarettes, etc), 3) You tell me the wrong pump number, 4) you hold up the line, 5) no one wants to hear your big mouth talking to the other person about how your baby daddy ex's mother cheated you out of money/drugs/etc, 6) you hold your hand over the mouth piece to tell me your cigarette type because you don't want them to know you smoke (guess what, they do, it's easy to smell it on clothing, no matter what you do to try to mask the odor).
14. If I ask you if you want our promo item of the month, please just say "yes", "no", "thank you", or "no thank you" . That's all I want or need. I don't want a life story on why you can't have candy, that you're diabetic, or that you can't drink a hot drink. I'm just asking because I have to (you know, so I don't get fired) and I just want to move on from it as much as you do.

Well, this concludes my little fun rant. I hope you enjoyed it, because it felt good just to get it out. I might include some more in the comments, as you might as well of your own. Please don't hesitate to! :)